 |
| image from pixabay |
I was browsing through
my emails when I saw a message from one of the groups I have joined not so long
ago. It was a discussion about narcissist having no contact. The discussion aroused my curiosity and made
me read more about narcissist. The word “silent”
on the discussion made me want to research and read about narcissist, wondering
if I am a narcissist because I am usually quiet just because i desire a quiet lifestyle and don't want to mind other people's life however I have a temper and
speak my mind when I want to or say things I shouldn’t say or mean when I am mad.
Narcissist is someone
who meets the criteria laid out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders for the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is classified
under Cluster B of the 10 Personality Disorders. It is an excessive
self-importance, loves to be the center of attention, one who takes advantage
of others and lack empathy.
I was shocked to learn the
appalling truth about narcissist behavior especially the way they resort to
silence for a long time due to misunderstandings. How long is long? It could
take months or years. So just imagine yourself living with someone who gives
you that kind of treatment just because of trivial issues, it would be sheer
torture.
In marriages, some
couples resort to silent treatment when they have misunderstandings but it
doesn’t mean they are narcissist too. For non-narcissist, it could last from
hours to a few days and once they have both calmed down and reached the point
where they could talk, they would resolve their issues. For narcissist it could
last from weeks to years. A narcissist partner will not acknowledge your
presence in the same room, or they will abandon the relationship for months or
years.
Why do Narcissist go no contact?
There are many levels of
narcissist but silent treatment is something all narcissists do. They go no
contact when you have disagreed with them or their ideas. They go no contact to
show you their dissatisfaction after you disagree with them. It is one of their
powerful weapons; it is their way of controlling you so that you will react and
make them feel like the center of your attention which they enjoy the most. The more you react either in a positive or
negative way, the more they feel better about themselves because they love
attention, the more they will laugh at you and think lesser of you. Your
reactions make them feel superior.
This is so far one of
their best weapon but behind you they will be building lies. They may be quiet
and won’t speak to you at all however they will be spreading lies and would make
an issue in most of the things you do. They would love to talk about you, your
downfalls, your failures and your mistakes, things that don’t concern them. They
would love to manipulate others on what to think about you because they love to
see you alone and left out. A study on narcissistic behavior stated that they
love high-low post, making fun on groups of people or individuals, criticizing
their behavior in a harsh way.
Narcissist will not say “sorry”
Narcissist will not
apologize because it will blemish their self perfection. They don’t want to
take accountable to what happened because in their mind they are always better
and can never go wrong. It is all about them and they only see their side of
story. They will never think they might have done something. They would laugh
at people who apologize; they think they are complete idiots for doing so.
What to do when you receive that silent treatment?
You can never win with a
narcissist. So the best thing to do when someone treats you that way is just to
stop talking to the person and move on. That person would enjoy it when you are
affected and it would cause an irritation or the silent treatment will be
stopped if you seem not to care because you have control over your emotion and
not the narcissist. Break the relationship if you are already losing yourself. Don’t
let it get into you because you will suffer emotionally and blame yourself for
what happened. Never act angry or aggressive because you will be made “wrong”.
Reading other forums and
journals, I was shocked to know that silent treatment have caused a great deal
of damage to those people who received this kind of harsh treatment. Both
emotional and physical abuse are damaging, while there are more treatments or
programs geared towards physical abuse, a study published in Jama psychiatry
stated that there should be more treatment geared towards emotional abuse.
REFERENCES:
https://www.psychologytoday.com
No comments:
Post a Comment