60,000 Caregivers Needed in Japan

Philippine Overseas Employment Agency (POEA) announced yesterday that 60,000 caregivers are needed in Japan. It did not mention anything about expected salary however based on a report of TV patrol last year, the salary is around 70,000 or more. It was reported by Japan Times last year that the government is expecting shortage of 340,000 caregivers by 2025.   

Those who are looking for caregiver job in Japan should pass the exams in Japanese language and technical skills. They have to pass Japanese Language Proficiency Test and they must also be able to demonstrate daily conversational skills in Japanese when spoken slowly. In addition to these, a test which is yet to be established, is the evaluation of their knowledge in caregiving terminology. 

A new specialized skilled worker visa of Japan is set to be signed on March 19. Private recruitment agencies can start processing the visa of qualified foreign workers starting April 1. The new visa system is classified into two; both are valid for 5 years however the other type is for work that needs higher level skills but they have the chance to acquire immigrant status after 5 years when they finish their contract.

Currently, there are two ways for non-Japanese nationals to work as caregivers in Japan. One is to participate in a work program provided under an economic partnership agreement (EPA) and gain a certificate while working at a nursing home and the other choice is to use Japan’s Technical Intern Program. Other Asian nationals like Vietnamese and Indonesians were one of those who have been working as caregivers in Japan through these programs.

The Agency have also warned applicants to stay away from agencies claiming they are accepting applicants for this new visa.

REFERENCES:
Japan Needs 60,000 Caregivers-POEA
Fewer foreigners than expected coming to Japan to work as caregiver trainees, data shows
Foreign workers in Japanese care will need good Japanese skills

Silent Treatment: A Narcissist Weapon

image from pixabay

I was browsing through my emails when I saw a message from one of the groups I have joined not so long ago. It was a discussion about narcissist having no contact.  The discussion aroused my curiosity and made me read more about narcissist.  The word “silent” on the discussion made me want to research and read about narcissist, wondering if I am a narcissist because I am usually quiet just because i desire a quiet lifestyle and don't want to mind other people's life however I have a temper and speak my mind when I want to or say things I shouldn’t say or mean when I am mad.

Narcissist is someone who meets the criteria laid out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is classified under Cluster B of the 10 Personality Disorders. It is an excessive self-importance, loves to be the center of attention, one who takes advantage of others and lack empathy.

I was shocked to learn the appalling truth about narcissist behavior especially the way they resort to silence for a long time due to misunderstandings. How long is long? It could take months or years. So just imagine yourself living with someone who gives you that kind of treatment just because of trivial issues, it would be sheer torture.

In marriages, some couples resort to silent treatment when they have misunderstandings but it doesn’t mean they are narcissist too. For non-narcissist, it could last from hours to a few days and once they have both calmed down and reached the point where they could talk, they would resolve their issues. For narcissist it could last from weeks to years. A narcissist partner will not acknowledge your presence in the same room, or they will abandon the relationship for months or years.

Why do Narcissist go no contact?

There are many levels of narcissist but silent treatment is something all narcissists do. They go no contact when you have disagreed with them or their ideas. They go no contact to show you their dissatisfaction after you disagree with them. It is one of their powerful weapons; it is their way of controlling you so that you will react and make them feel like the center of your attention which they enjoy the most.  The more you react either in a positive or negative way, the more they feel better about themselves because they love attention, the more they will laugh at you and think lesser of you. Your reactions make them feel superior.

This is so far one of their best weapon but behind you they will be building lies. They may be quiet and won’t speak to you at all however they will be spreading lies and would make an issue in most of the things you do. They would love to talk about you, your downfalls, your failures and your mistakes, things that don’t concern them. They would love to manipulate others on what to think about you because they love to see you alone and left out. A study on narcissistic behavior stated that they love high-low post, making fun on groups of people or individuals, criticizing their behavior in a harsh way.

Narcissist will not say “sorry”  

Narcissist will not apologize because it will blemish their self perfection. They don’t want to take accountable to what happened because in their mind they are always better and can never go wrong. It is all about them and they only see their side of story. They will never think they might have done something. They would laugh at people who apologize; they think they are complete idiots for doing so.

What to do when you receive that silent treatment?

You can never win with a narcissist. So the best thing to do when someone treats you that way is just to stop talking to the person and move on. That person would enjoy it when you are affected and it would cause an irritation or the silent treatment will be stopped if you seem not to care because you have control over your emotion and not the narcissist. Break the relationship if you are already losing yourself. Don’t let it get into you because you will suffer emotionally and blame yourself for what happened. Never act angry or aggressive  because you will be made “wrong”.

Reading other forums and journals, I was shocked to know that silent treatment have caused a great deal of damage to those people who received this kind of harsh treatment. Both emotional and physical abuse are damaging, while there are more treatments or programs geared towards physical abuse, a study published in Jama psychiatry stated that there should be more treatment geared towards emotional abuse.

REFERENCES:

https://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/a-narcissist-cannot-apologize-or-take-accountability

http://ajmahari.ca/2016/08/narcissists-never-apologize-dont-go-down-the-rabbit-hole/

https://kimsaeed.com/2018/01/17/10-surprising-facts-silent-treatment/

https://www.psychologytoday.com

Joshua Dwayne

It was morning of December 24, 2013 when my mother and I went to the hospital because I was already having labor. I thought I would be giving birth on the night of 24^th but I didn’t. At 11 o’clock in the morning of December 25, the doctor came and conducted an IE. She told me I am about to give birth and so she instructed the nurse to bring me to the delivery room. They ruptured my bag of water and told me to push whenever I feel any pain and contraction. Unfortunately, I haven’t felt any pain but contractions.

More than an hour passed and still baby is not coming out no matter how I try to push. They keep on checking his fetal heart rate and he just keeps on getting weaker and weaker, so they decided to do an emergency c-section. I was then brought to the operating room.

The anesthesiologist injected anesthesia and in less than five minutes I fell asleep. I just woke up when I heard them screaming, “It’s a baby boy and looks like an American” (a line that made my husband smiled when I told him). I asked if I can see baby and one of the staff showed him to me then I went back to sleep again.

Turned out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his head is not in proper position that is why no matter how I push, he won’t come out. It just made him weaker and weaker. Our bundle of joy came out at 2:09 in the afternoon of December 25, 2013 and it is 12:09 in the morning, it just turned December 25 at Illinois too, where his father lives and waiting for the news.

ISABELLA ROSE

Isabella @ 3 years old

I got pregnant with Isabella when Joshua was only three months old. We learned that I was pregnant on the day my husband would be travelling to Manila for his trip back home to Illinois. I was so nervous that time and didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t ready for a second baby. I gave birth through cesarean section with my first born baby. I was horrified. My husband comforted me and said it is God’s gift.

I was already almost 8 months pregnant when I was having contractions. I sent a message to my OB doc that night and she told me to take isoxsuprine for three times a day and have to call her in the morning or in the afternoon if it still persists. I asked my brother to go and buy at the pharmacy. I took it that night and the next two days. My OB-Gyne have been calling a lot and kept on telling me I should go to the hospital if the pain is persistent. The pain would come and go away so I thought it was only false labor but on the third day, very early morning I felt that excruciating pain which wouldn’t go away so after 3 hours of still having the pain, I asked my brother to drive me to the hospital.

When we went to the hospital ER, they found out that my cervix is already 8cm open. My OB gyne came rushing and in less than 2 hours I gave birth to my daughter through cesarean section. I was thankful because she is strong at 2.5 kgs, everything is ok except that she swallowed some meconium thus the nurses have to suction.

            She came out on the fifth day of November year twenty fourteen at past nine in the morning, same day her dad arrived in Manila from US  at past nine in the evening. He was totally surprised. Yes, we learned that I was pregnant with her on the day her dad travelled to Manila for his trip to the US and she came out on the day her dad came back from the US.

            She is now four years old and growing up so quick.

Dalangin ng Isang Ina

 Aking dalangin ay lumaki kayong may takot sa Diyos at manatili sa kanyang landas. Nawa'y lumaki kayong may kababaang loob at sumunod lagi sa kanya.Sana lagi ninyong isa isip at isa puso ang aral ng Diyos.

Aking dalangin ay bigyan kayo ng Diyos ng malawak na pangunawa at kaalaman. Sana laging puno ang inyong puso ng pagmamahal at gawin ang lahat ng bagay para sa inyong kinabukasan ng may pagmamahal.

Aking dalangin ay bigyan kayo ng Diyos ng kasipagan, ng katapangan, ng kalusugan at ng Katalinuhan. Anumang pagsubok na dumating sa inyo ay mapagtagumpayan ninyo at nang marating ninyo ang rurok ng tagumpay.

Aking dalangin ay bigyan kayo ng masayahing puso, isip at kaluluwa. Lumaki sana kayong marunong tumawa, marunong ngumiti at magalak sa inyong kalumbayan.

Lumaki sana kayong may respeto sa inyong kapwa, maging mabuti kayo, pagsilbihan ang Diyos at ang inyong kapwa. Lumaki sana kayong malayo sa kalawayan at sa kapahamakan.

Aking dalangin ay ingatan kayo ng Diyos sa tuwi-tuwina.

A Mother's Letter

I want to start this by saying “I love you”. I have learned a lot being a mother to both of you. I have always thought the role of a mother is to teach their innocent kids but your innocence have made me realized a lot of things. I am not a perfect mother but I promise you both that I will love you with all my heart. You are the ones who keep me going. There are a lot of times, I want to give up but when I look into your eyes and listen to your sweet voice, I just can’t do that.

I feel so guilty for not giving my best to both of you and yet you always look up to me, always want to be with me and stay with you but if I have to be away and work, I will and hope that someday you will understand why I have done such. I just want to give you the best and I don’t want you to go through what I went before. It is like music to my ears when you say “mommy”, the joy resonates in my heart and in my soul. You never know how I feel, when you always want to hug and kiss me or when you want me to kiss  and hug you.

I am full of flaws but to you, I am perfect and the best and always say, when you grow up you want to be like me and work, I still can’t understand what you both mean because I don’t have much, in fact I have nothing precious but my love for you. I don’t want you to be like me, I want you to travel your own road and not someone else’s, I want you to find your own destiny and be happy. At a young age, you have a lot of dreams, you want to be doctors, you want to climb the mountain, you want to sing and dance, you want to sell, you want to be everything, you want to buy your own car and house. I pray that you will always have that zeal in life and I know you will be both successful and happy in life.

There are a lot of things, I have missed to teach you or didn’t realize it is important for you to learn. I am also a work in progress and still learning how to be a good mother to both of you. Being a parent, I now understand why there are people who fear having kids,a parent could either break or make a child’s future but I pray for God’s guidance.

Kids Conversations

One of the joys of being a parent is having conversation with their little ones, every child especially ages three to five years old are inquisitive and say a lot of things which warms the heart of every parent and make them smile even in their most gloomy circumstances. The happiness children bring to their parents are immense and no one could replace such. I have read some posts of mothers about their kids’ conversations with other people which made me laugh or smile. They are too lovable. I have two kids, Joshua and Isabella who are five and four years old, they both differ in a lot of ways but just like any other kids they have said things that cracked me up or made me smile and some made me think and feel guilty

“I want to go inside that book”

While reading an old book of mine “The Alchemist”, my kids came and asked me to read  it to them and so I did…

It was difficult not to think about what he had left behind. The desert, with its endless monotony, put him to dreaming. The boy could still see the palm trees, the wells and the face of the woman he loved. He could see the Englishman at his experiments, and the camel driver who was a teacher without realizing it. Maybe the alchemist has never been in love, the boy thought.

Joshua: Mommy, what is an alchemist?

Isabella: Mommy, I want to go inside that book and see the desert and the palm tree. It is so beautiful, I want to see it.

“It is not funny”

When Isabella was 3 years old, my nephew and niece babysat her, when they were about to eat they gave her rice with broth and vegetables, she looked at their plates and saw big slice of meat on their plates and in a very serious look, she asked them “where is the meat?”. Since the meat were big chunks and wasn’t that soft, they didn’t put some in her plate.

My nephew and niece looked at each other and laughed; again she looked at them sternly and said “it is not funny”.

“No, I don’t talk to strangers”

When Isabella was less than 2 years old, she would go to anyone she doesn’t know or haven’t met before which is frightening that is why when I have to bring them to my mother and stay with her since I have to work here in the city, I talked to her over and over never to talk to strangers. They stayed with my mom without me for almost 2 years.

She is still my sweet little girl but I am a little bit worried because my Isabella seems bashful around people, she wouldn’t answer people when they are talking to her and wouldn’t even give a smile, sometimes she would act like no one is talking to her which is actually embarrassing. I don’t know if she is bashful or just don't trust people easy.

There was a time, a group of people were saying “hi” to her and she told them right off “No, I don’t talk to strangers”.

I am trying to teach her that it is ok to talk to people, be polite when she is with me and won’t only talk to strangers when she is alone.

“No, I have mouth”

While they were watching Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2, Joshua is watching quietly, his eyes are stuck on the TV screen and his sister keeps on talking, asking a lot of questions.

Joshua: Bella! stop talking!

Isabella: No! I have mouth.

"I am smart"

Isabella: Joshua! I am smart

Me: Who told you? your teacher?

Isabella: No, me only.

“You work so hard”

When I was working on two jobs, one time Joshua stayed for few days with me and my niece babysat him. There were times, I work 3pm-11pm and be home before 12 midnight then next day will wake up early for my class and after class will go straight to the hospital and stay there before 12 midnight. I guess he was frustrated I didn’t have much time for him so he told me,”mommy, you work and work and work. You work so hard” and also told my niece, “mommy always come andgo”.

“Mommy I don’t want to laugh at you”

“Mommy, I don’t want to laugh at you”, my daughter exclaimed when I almost slipped as I was running after Megumi with the kids’ burger toy in her mouth, “but I am laughing at Megumi because she is running with the toy” she added.

I smiled and was thinking how sweet of her. If there is one thing I never liked, it is people laughing at me behind my back. I admire frank people, who would tell me right off if there is something wrong and won’t make an issue out of it. I don’t like anyone who is so nice in front of me or would just retreat in silence but behind my back they are laughing or be talking about you. Laughing at someone’s mistake and be a subject of humiliation that is one thing I can’t tolerate. It is never nice to laugh at someone behind their back and talk about their life.

I hope and pray my daughter will carry that kind of thinking when she grows up, never to laugh and humiliate someone because of failure, mistakes, or how they lead their lives.